Phoenix Network Forums

EDITED BY Nighthawk:

OP Thought my remarks regarding moving it to Serious Forum were an indication that I thought he was flaming. Not so, I just posted a warning in case anyone just typed 'lmao gay ppl r fags lol'.

I'm fine with the thread, if we can keep it mature.

The original thread was: What do you feel about gays/lesbians adopting children?

Moved to Serious Discussion. With that said, let's keep this on-topic, serious, and somewhat rational. If this thread turns into flaming of any sort, it will be locked.

Personally, I don't care if they adopt or not. If they feel as if they can raise a kid, then go right ahead. They have as much of a right to as other people.

I don't see anything wrong with gays adopting kids, long as they're fit parents. They should the same rights as everyone else.

I think third sex is not an issue. They too have equal rights as we do. I have high respect for gays & lesbians, they've contributed a lot to our society. So if they wanna adopt kids, that is fine. So long as they know "responsible parenting".. And make sure they could support & be able to have their kids sent to school.

No problem with 'them' adopting kids, all I'd like to see is more education about gays so that the kids, or indeed the parents themselves, would not be discriminated.

This is interesting. I have no problems with Gays and Lesbian in general. They can do their own thing. But, now thats a very big BUT, how good parents are they? We have to answer some serious questions before we can actually think of them as parents.

First of all , will they be biased about the sexual orientation their kids will pick up?

Second, how can you be sure that they might not abuse their own chldren?

Third, What kind of children will they adopt? will it be unbiased too or the gay will only pick on adopt only sons and lesbians only daughters?

Fourth, by default children are innocent and unaware of sexual orientation at a very early stage of development. How much of their childhood might be effected if they have problems understanding their gay/lesbian parents. Will they have a normal childhood due to that?


These are very few of the questions we need to understand, research and answer before the gays/lesbians are allowed to adopt. And if anyone asks the question that who are we to judge? well to answer that we all do. Cause they are adopting and are not natural parents. We are very much handing them the responsibility of parenthood by providing them the option to adoption of children.

Equal rights were ok for gay/lesbians cause we thought hey its your own life. But when equal rights comes to situations where the other persons' (for example here the children) lives are involved, I think we should be more careful in what we allow and disallow.

bluebell wrote:First of all , will they be biased about the sexual orientation their kids will pick up?

Fair point, but so what if they are? Besides, most 'normal' parents are also biased.

bluebell wrote:Second, how can you be sure that they might not abuse their own chldren?

Because one does not simply walk into an adoption agency and walk out with a kid.

bluebell wrote:Third, What kind of children will they adopt? will it be unbiased too or the gay will only pick on adopt only sons and lesbians only daughters?

I thought there were so few kids on adoption you don't exactly get a say in the matter. But then again, what would be the problem here?

bluebell wrote:Fourth, by default children are innocent and unaware of sexual orientation at a very early stage of development. How much of their childhood might be effected if they have problems understanding their gay/lesbian parents. Will they have a normal childhood due to that?

I would say not much, since if you are 'born' into a gay family, I don't see how you would not understand the parents, seeing as you are, by default, unaware of sexual orientation.

Oh this is a tough one. I just saw a show the other night with two men who had a lady deliver their baby, and they seemed very happy and quite normal. The procedure was a bit strange since they wanted to be "present" with her in a kiddy pool during birth, and I think they were almost naked in the pool with her. Ok, but this doesn't lead up to my point.

What I think is that men who adopt children lack some maternal instinctive things that exist between a child and its mother. Now, if a lack of this during development causes the child to be developed differently, that should be explored before we allow an all out "go for it" philosophy. There are other things women bring into the development of a child that may be lacking in men. For instance, women by nature are less violent then men. Does this mean the child would be abused more in development (I think someone mentioned something like this before). I would again move to investigate.

Of course people are free to do what they like, but child development is a new a delicate topic. I support gay marriage and personal development, but I am not yet up for child development without a mother.

I am less concerned about lesbians in this case, but again a man will also provide things in a Childs development that a woman cannot.

Something to think about.

You are of course adopting the conservative view on how to raise a child, let the woman of the house do it.

But in this day and age, there are loads of kids who have no mother and are raised solely by their dad.
They have no issues in life.

First of all , will they be biased about the sexual orientation their kids will pick up?

Almost all parents are biased about the sexual orientation of their kids. Why? Because they want them to be straight! Go up to your parents and see how they take it if you told them that you were gay. Odds are, they wouldn't like it. At least, in my opinion, I don't think they would.

[Note: I have nothing against gays, and I don't care if my future children turn out to be gay. Who am I to tell them their sexual orientation?]

TheWorldJoker wrote:

First of all , will they be biased about the sexual orientation their kids will pick up?

Almost all parents are biased about the sexual orientation of their kids. Why? Because they want them to be straight! Go up to your parents and see how they take it if you told them that you were gay. Odds are, they wouldn't like it. At least, in my opinion, I don't think they would.

Well maybe i have not put it down right. By biased I exactly meant that my parents never had a chat with me about this. But, in the case of gay/lesbians the chances are maybe they will make a point of making them understand how their kids should be gay or lesbian. I actually called up a psych major friend early this morning. She informed me I was correct that the gay/lesbian parents might have an instinct to impose to a certain extent but maybe chances are they wont, like my parents never came and told me I should be straight.

Frankly I have nothing against gays and lesbians but to me it more of a sexual fantasy thing than a formal thing. I find it highly over rated. They still couldnt prove with any solid foundation that its a biological thing. I mean you could have a ménage-à-trois doesnt mean next day you 3 wanna get married and adopt kids.

Samppa wrote:You are of course adopting the conservative view on how to raise a child, let the woman of the house do it.

But in this day and age, there are loads of kids who have no mother and are raised solely by their dad.
They have no issues in life.

Do you have kids? I am a man and I have a son. I can tell you that I have learned much more having a woman’s voice and view around to help me, then if I was alone. In fact, I know that I would be a good father without his mother around, but I am not convinced that I would be the "best" father. I would argue that people should look from the child's perspective on this issue and not from the parents. If I was a son to gay fathers, I would be concerned that I am not getting the natural relationship of a woman in my life early on. I am not arguing that I would be a freak, in fact I would probably turn out normal with some major questions that are left never answered; I am just suggesting that it would not be an ideal situation. That is the point, we should be focusing on getting kids in ideal situations, not the, "Well they are Gay, why should they be different" argument. I do not feel having a man helping me would offer the same emotional outlook a women provides. If you think men can think like women, then we do not agree.

I was in a child development class in school and they say that the main cause of infanticide (or the killing of infants) was an instinct practiced by men. Of course we have come a long way since then. But then again, have we? How many women pedophilias do you hear about? And what about men?

Men have a natural thinking process to kill and hunt food, but we also adapt. I do think we can one day replace the mother if needed, but do we need to? Should we say we are capable of that today? NO! I am not saying Women should stay home, but I am also not saying we should support men taking 100% responsibility for a child’s development without more study.

I can see where you're coming from, but I think enough study has been made by the fact that single men can raise children without the children becoming lunatics, or without the child getting killed or molested because the parent was a man ( ).
Matter of opinion though.


I'm not sure what you mean by including paedophiles into the equation, are you saying gays are more susceptive to molesting their child because they're men? Or that they're going to kill the child the moment they get it?


btw, out of curiousity, what's the instinct?

This webpage actually refers to researches and researchers who actually did prove that Gay parenting does affect children.

http://www.narth.com/docs/does.html